Out of the Fog

So, for three years now… three years! I have been trying to write a post in the new year about resolutions. About starting the year off with a bang. About setting out on the right foot. About starting well and finishing well.

Well. I never finish that post. I start it. I muddle through it. I re-read it… it leaves me feeling yuck. It’s not quite right. And I think that I finally figured out why!

January can be a bit foggy.

Here in Sylvan Lake we get some good fog. The kind of fog that rolls in off a body of water and looks a little muddy, almost like you should be able to scoop it out of the air.

That is what January ALWAYS feels like to me. We ring in the new year with all sorts of amazing expectation… this one will be better than the last. This one has promise. This one is THE BEST! But then something strange happens, doesn’t it? By the end of the first week or so (usually about the time the kids have been back to school for a few days), that January feeling sinks in. The foggy one. Like it might never end (and for goodness sakes, I was AWAY for part of January this year!).

I think that I understand the fog a little bit better this year. I think it is all those expectations!! We put all this pressure on ourselves to stack up to some imaginary score-board that doesn’t even exist. It’s not reality!

At taekwondo this week, the masters asked the boys to repeat this mantra:

“A Goal Set is a Goal Met”

That got me thinking.

I do want to set some goals for myself this year. I do want this year to be a year of growth, learning, fun, and LIFE! But, I don’t want planning those things to suck the life out of me!!

So, in the spirit of simplicity, love, and gentleness that I hope you read in all my words… here is what I propose:

January might remain a foggy month. I will not put pressure on myself to re-invent the wheel each and every January. Instead, I will intentionally say “No” to anything that makes the fog more dense and “Yes” to anything that allows a bit of light to shine through. By February, I will set some clear, realistic, and flexible goals for the months ahead that give me purpose, direction, and put a spring in my step.

Here’s a few that I have already put in to action:

• I will attend one month of Taekwondo classes to see if it is a good fit for me.
• I will unapologetically go to bed at 9:30 every night.
• I will devote 5 hours per week to beginning my own business as an Arbonne Independent Consultant.

And there. That feels doable. Those are not resolutions. They are goals. I can meet them. I can reevaluate to determine if they are working for me.

Fog is lighter. I can breathe.

Begin with the End in Mind

 

We love the elementary school that our kids are a part of. One of the great programs at the school is the “Leader in Me” curriculum developed based on Sean Covey’s “The 7 Habits of Happy Kids.”

Students participate in classroom discussions and other activities focused on taking charge of their own lives and other 7 Habits principles. In other words, our 5-year-old  and 7-year-old come home reminding us to be “proactive,” to “think win-win,” and to “synergize” among other things. Comments like, “mom, that was not a win-win with dad… you need to do more problem solving” and “that’s not how you get things done mom, we need to put first things first…” have become somewhat common place around here. So, be it subliminal kid-messaging, or my subconscious gathering in all of this information and running amok with it, as the New Year has approached, and others have begun their “resolution” lists for 2013, I have had some stirrings to do the same.

Now, I am not a resolution kind of girl. I don’t do well with, “beginning today I will…” (insert pie-in-the-sky, highly unreasonable ultimatum that I will not uphold past next Tuesday). However, I think that “goals” are a good idea… but have found that in my stay-at-home life, I have gotten out of the habit of setting time-based, reasonable, achievable goals for myself and my family. BUUUT… it is a new year, so why not give it a shot?! I think this is a perfect year to get back in the swing of goal setting. And AHA! This is also a very proactive thing to do… goal setting is “Beginning with the End in Mind.” My, my… my kids will be so proud of me.” (insert impish grin).

Goal setting is an odd thing, if you ask me… or rather, why (or how?) it works at all! I find it puzzling and intriguing… some sort of cosmic energy thing, perhaps? Some sort of magical ideas into action voodoo going on? Maybe. But, I think a more probable reason that goal setting (as a clearly thought out, and written down process) “works” is that it forces us to  honestly think about what we want. In the fast-paced society we live in, how often do most people get to just sit and reflect? How often to you take the time to think about where you are now and where you would like to be in a week, a month, a year, 10 years? My guess is that many of you would answer like me…  the days turn into weeks, the weeks turn in to months, the months turn in to years… and before you know it, you have not stepped in the direction you had hoped to go, because you forgot you were even trying to get there.

So, here’s how my list is shaping up. I have been asking myself questions about my relationship with God this year, with His creation, and with the multitude of people who cross my path. I have been asking myself questions about the kind of mother and wife I wish to be and how I might give more time to all these things. My goals arise from these questions. I have decided on creating a specific spiritual goal, mothering goal, health goal, and relationship goal. These are personal things, specific to my life, and I am certain you will have goals in areas that are personal and specific to you.

I have found this goal setting process to be so very positive. It has given me a sense of power and purpose in creating the kind of life I want for myself and my family. It has given my prayer life purpose, and forced me to focus my attention to those areas of my life that truly matter.

And now, I suppose the proof is in the pudding. Good goals are measurable and achievable, they don’t fall away like a “New Year’s Resolution” might. So, my first mini-goal… not to forget my goals!! I think I might tape them up somewhere… until I’m sure I”m on track!

Wish me luck… and good luck to you in 2013! I hope you are able to set yourself some goals. Give yourself a chance to reach higher than you ever thought you  could. One thing is certain… you won’t make it if you don’t try 😉

Happy New Year!!