I have felt this uneasy feeling of late… it’s one that creeps up now and then when I get a little off-course, often when I start doing too much, trying too hard, scheming and scrambling to keep all the little pieces of my life in neat order and perfect symmetry. I forget to be a human-BEING. I forget to just BE. And, eventually, I find myself suddenly (although it really happens tiny step by tiny step) stuck in a pattern of controlling. In these times, I rely ever more solidly on my abilities… to manage time, manage circumstances, manage any eventuality, because somewhere the lie has taken root that if only I can control these things, I will get through “it.” Whatever “it” might be.
I… I can do it. I can fix it. I can control it. I can plan it. I.
And then, out of the darkness, comes the whisper.
“Why are you striving again, sweet child? Won’t you come to me, lay down your heavy burden, and rest awhile?”
I wish I could say that I crumble in that moment. That all my striving stops and that I am able to fall headlong into the arms of Jesus. I want to. I want to just lay it all down. Let it all go. I want to be like a little child and sink into that safe, strong place. But I don’t. Sometimes, in my stubbornness, I push the invitation aside until I can’t anymore. But always, always, the gentle whisper remains.
It was like that today, as I contemplated where we have been and where we are going. The road in this life is bumpy. There are all kinds of twists and turns that we can neither plan for, nor avoid. The adventure of trusting the Lord along this road… even when we doubt, even when we are fearful, even when we try to take the reins, is that comfort, peace, and rest, are only a moment of surrender away. We are all so loved. That He continues to use us and choose us in the midst of those moments of greatest fear, greatest doubt, and striving to take control, shows just how much.
I can be too much like Martha… striving for perfection, instead of simply focusing on the One with the plan. If you are like me, then lets together, today, PLAN to let go. Plan to rest in the arms of the only One who really knows what tomorrow will bring and who is already prepared to carry us through.
“Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28
Have a peace filled day. 🙂