In these two years, our little family has felt some sorrow, some joy, some failure, some hope, and so much grace. It is the latter that has shaped us the most.
Two years ago, my life was churning along a straight, predictable, well-formulated path. I believed that my hard work, careful planning, and attention to every detail would ensure that we continued on that path, undeterred, and always. My trust in God and assurance of his goodness was steadfast. However, I did not realize how conditional my trust was.
My purpose here is not to delve into the details of these past many months, but to share what learning has come through:
Dreams crushed. But new hope realized.
Questions of purpose. Questions of Calling. But these are not for us to decide, rather to discover.
Cancer. Pain. But healing in the dawn!
Fear. Sadness. Sickness. But new respect for perseverance.
Loss of control. But Freedom!
Unsettled. Transition. Change. Weariness in heart and spirit. But oh, have I learned to trust.
When our road becomes muddy and the way becomes unclear, that is when we realize what grace is all about. That is when I realized that my trust was less in a good, faithful, just, and loving God, and so much more in my ability to manage my circumstances and carve a path for myself by my design. My efforts. My work.
I am (and always will be!) a work in progress, but what I do know for sure is that this path we have been on is not easy. It is a path less travelled. Marked by faith, and tread upon lightly by hopes and dreams. I am learning that my God is good. And faithful. And just. And so loving. My guess is that I might not be so sure of these things if it weren’t for the winding path we have taken. So, I am grateful for it all. There is always beauty in ashes. We just have to be willing to sift through a little.
Be blessed today.